Motivation

October 22, 2008

Everyday we wake up hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.  We feel nervous walking into meetings or starting a new job; we fear rejection from friends and lovers; and we panic at the thought of failure.  Does this make us weak or pathetic?  No.  It makes us experienced.  The world can be harsh some days and the people we rely on can fail us, but it is those of us who “smile like we mean it,” that make it through okay.  Sometimes we fall or crash or cry, but at the end of it all, the strong look for a solution or a learning opportunity.  The people that don’t learn or aim for better are the ones that fall short, the rest of us are doing that magical thing called growing.

I received some news from a friend yesterday that was devastating.  Not only to her, one of the people I care most about in the world, but the unfairness of the situation wrecked my day.  One of the smartest and prettiest and nicest (even though she claims to be a bitch) people I have ever known is getting walked all over by her school because of something she can not control.  During a school activity she was injured and is currently unable to finish her program on time.  You would think that the school could offer some form of compensation or another graduating date because of her situation, but they aren’t.  She loves what she does more then anything and has worked so hard at being exceptional at it.  I mean really, she has used her knowledge of healthcare to cure hangovers in the most unusual way. Anyway, she is getting treated horribly.  It is apparent to everyone that what is going on is not fair, but she has yet to bow her head and admit defeat.  She has taken the necessary steps to fix this.  Kudos to you my dear friend.  Thank you for being a perfect of example of facing a challenge head on and being prepared to do whatever it takes.

I have been through a lot of things in my life for a 24 year old.   I almost lost my mother to cancer, I have over come addictions, I have dealt with divorced parents, and seemingly deranged siblings; but the worst pain I have ever truly experienced is a broken heart.  It has happened a couple times, and I do blame myself for falling in love so hard and so fast, but I can’t help it.  The pain that Bryce caused was horrifying.  I drank, I cried, I pretended it wasn’t real, I rebounded (a lot), and I fell apart.  I lost jobs and friends and my life crumbled into more pieces then I knew it was made of.  This time when it happened, I dealt with it better.  It’s not Jason’s fault or mine.  It is the fact that over the period of a year, people grow and change and sometimes those changes make people incompatible.  Have I been drinking?  Yes, but no more then usual.  Have I cried?  Oh yes…maybe more this time.  Have I rebounded?  No.  Have I learned?  Oh yes.  “Breaking up is hard to do,” (great song) but it happens, and we have to deal with it. Even though I am single now and the nights can be very lonely, I am working towards something great.  I look forward to the day when I am happy with the person that I am, and everyday I get to work on that.  It is empowering to know that you are living your life for yourself.  Not  that I am selfish, I am very far from selfish, but the greatest things I will ever accomplish is the ability to smile because of myself.

So my friends, cheers to you who will stumble today, I commend you on your strength and ability to stand up tall again.